you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
