barbara walters just said penis...
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Your cock deserves a montage
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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