(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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