When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Two words: blizzard sex
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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