also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
