You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
