I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
