Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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