If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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