is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
How's work?
Spinning.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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