I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
