My girlfriend figured out who you are.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
