Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
