she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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