she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
