Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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