South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
