Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
