Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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