I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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