they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
