No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
