discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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