Can i not drive my cunt home
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
i think my cat just said my name.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
