11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
