Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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