I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
What drink are we having for lunch?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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