i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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