what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
