i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
