Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
