"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Everything about him screamed your future.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
