The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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