What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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