New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
