if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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