i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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