you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
