It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
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