Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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