if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
