If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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