We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
