Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Randomize
