My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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