It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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