still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
