If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
