Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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