She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
